For divorced or separated parents, special occasions within the family can be challenging or upsetting and fraught with potential for conflict. This is especially true if the event takes place on a weekend when the children are scheduled to be with the other parent.
In order to assist former partners, who will always be parents, in managing future family celebrations by agreeing upon a parenting plan to cover these significant days in the calendar, Peterborough Mediation has provided the following helpful suggestions:
Maintain your adaptability and pliability under change.
When parents divorce or separate, it is possible that they will not be able to spend special dedicated days with their children. This is especially true if the parents’ previously agreed-upon parenting plan does not allow for any flexibility, and the day in question falls on the weekend that the children are spending with the other parent. The same is true for other special occasions such as anniversaries, holidays like Christmas and Easter, marriages in the family, or any other day on which a family would have traditionally gotten together to celebrate. As a result, it is in the best interests of both parents to reach an agreement on some degree of flexibility that will, in the long run, be of value to everyone, especially the children.
However, it is essential to keep in mind that things that work well in one year might not always function well in the years that follow, so it is necessary to be ready to adjust to the new circumstances as they arise.
Your children may go on to build deep bonds with the new spouse of the other parent, even if it may be tough for you to accept this fact. The activities that children like doing when they were five years old will be different from the activities that they enjoy doing when they are eight years old and so on; demands will continue to vary as children continue to develop. Rhino Peterborough Mediation receives inquiries on a regular basis from families whose situations have evolved since their parenting plan was first established. Peterborough Mediation can assist these families in navigating these shifts and arriving at a solution that satisfies the requirements of all parties involved.
Be fair in your dealings with the other party.
You could discover that your ex-partner is willing to give you an hour or two to have a lovely lunch or tea if you don’t want the entire weekend at a specific time. Instead, you might make the demand.
In a similar vein, don’t forget about the grandparents on the opposite side of the family and the ways in which you may meet their requirements. For instance, if the children have a close relationship with their grandparents or cousins, they may also wish to see them; therefore, it is important to take this into consideration when coming to a decision about what to do.
Be sincere about each request
If you want to ask for a modification to the parenting plan that has already been established, you should first ensure that the change is one that you truly desire and that will be to the advantage of your children. We frequently consult with parents who believe that their ex-partner has a pattern of shifting dates intentionally in order to provoke an argument. The amicability of the situation may be preserved via careful planning and by being sincere in all of one’s requests. Keep in mind that it is possible that you may be the one to make a change in the arrangements at some point in the future. In the end, your children will learn by example and will appreciate their parents making an effort to meet all of their requirements.
Be ready to hold a conversation.
If you and your ex-partner are having trouble communicating with one another, you might want to look into the possibility of utilising Peterborough Mediation services. A professional and impartial mediator can assist you in working out agreements for your children and/or your family’s finances during the process of Peterborough Mediation, which is a practical form of dispute resolution.
The role of the mediator is to assist you in working through issues and locating solutions that are beneficial for your children. You can still use Peterborough Mediation to discuss outstanding issues or aspects of parenting that are causing conflict, and this may include special occasions and flexibility on key dates. Even if you already have an informal agreement or a contact order in place, you can use Peterborough Mediation to discuss outstanding issues or aspects of parenting that are causing conflict.
Put the needs of the kids first.
First and first, anything on which you and the other parent may reach an agreement must be in your children’s utmost best interests. Although you may feel furious or irritated with your ex-partner, you should make an effort to keep the topic of parenting out of the adult realm. If your kids want to spend time with their stepparents or grandparents, you should think about the effect it will have on them if you can’t find a way to make everyone happy, as well as how it will affect your relationship with the kids in the long run.
The professional mediators at Rhino Mediation has a high level of expertise and a wealth of experience in the field of assisting families in the development of individualised, long-term solutions that are effective given their unique set of circumstances. Our mediators are able to assist you in transforming disagreements into mutually beneficial agreements.
